Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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