the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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