That's intense
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
