Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
