Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
