Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
