i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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