I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize