dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
