he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
