there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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