Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
