I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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