Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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