I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
