My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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