is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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