so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
