Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
