as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize