Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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