if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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