I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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