i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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