Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
