You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
