I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize