I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
well you can't waste a boner
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
