So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
