using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
