glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
