i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
