He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
