You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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