It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Me too!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
