just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
