Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
