brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I smell stomach acid.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
