Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
