Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
