i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
