"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
