forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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