She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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