I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
