I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
