on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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