Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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