Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
