I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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