hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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