dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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