WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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