Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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