Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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