I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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