He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
