I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize