just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
