he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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