Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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