You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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