but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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