If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I need moral support for this bender
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
