One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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