We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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